Diss & Luvstory

or pain & misery it seems... This was one of the performances I saw tonight... The text in the last part (the luvstory) was inspired by Sarah Kane... and the whole performance was quite full of panic, misery and pain... and reminded me of something I wrote (or tossed up as the Monty Pythons would say) almost a year ago... So here it comes:

Licking Sarah Kane's pain

Picking up Dali's kneecaps
scattered on the ground
during the summer storm.
Tossing them away one by one
'cos they don't fit the hole.
In the midst I kneel
rejecting reality.

Chasing Picasso's eyeballs
rolling around in the dirt
following a brief encounter with terror.
Tossing them away one by one
'cos they don't fit the hole.
Blind I stand
unable to see reality

Licking Sarah Kane's pain
that filled the air
as the life got punched out of me.
Unable to make it go away
'cos it fits the hole
where I once used to be.

So this was last July. Suprisingly enough the whole experience left me with some vivid dreams that lead to this:

Gimme a break

I don't want to go to bed no more
I don't want to close my eyes ever again
I don't wanto to dream no more
I don't want to feel the dark pain

I am tired of seeing the multitude of bodies
resembling Sarah Kane and me
the thousands of twisted and mutilated torsos
dangling from a single black tree
broken limbs and heads with angry stares
scattered under the lifeless branches
smashed hearts and empty stares
covering the dust of Death Valley
angry at the world, but even more at me
the two heads on the very edge
tilt towards the sun and move slightly
trying to escape unnoticed
searching for the light
the brigh bright light
of the underground

I don't want to go to bed no more
I don't want to close my eyes ever again
I don't want to dream no more
I don't want to feel the dark
nevermore, nevermore...


So this is what my apparently extremely depressed subconscious has coughed up for today... Luckily for me there is another day tomorrow, and the two heads are trying to go for the sun....
(Oh, and Sarah, a certain distance is necessary between the two of us...)