Sunday window

shopping for my new room.  Looking for that special new somewhere to lay my head.  What is that? You don’t get it? Ok, ok, I will spin the time back a few days and take a closer look at a certain conversation.

‘Roughly two months’, accountant me said. ‘Maybe less.’

‘What do you mean two months or less?’ the me me asked, as I gasped for air, trying to somehow soften the fall of the 16 ton weight that was hurtling from somewhere in outer space straight towards the centre of my chest. I often wondered if I have a bull’s eye drawn bang slap in the middle of my chest, as these heavy weights seem to be continuously appearing from nowhere and smacking me just below my face. I mean how many times do you hear about a 16 ton steel weight hurtling from out of space? And how many times do you hear it actually hit somebody? Well, so far it has hit me 7.794 times. And I have an inkling of a feeling that is has not given up on me yet. 

‘Well, what did you think? You thought you were clever enough to dodge the Recession?’ started accountant me. I could hear him pronounce the capital R in Recession. He had great respect for it. For him it was on par with God. Or Earth. He knew it would set him up for a lifetime. If it continued for a few more years, it would even provide for his grandchildren. And their neighbours. Well, as long as they stay away from ‘...culture? And arts. And social science.’ continued his voice. It seemed I missed a chunk of his monologue, so I thought I should concentrate on the words erupting from his mouth. After all he might have a suggestion as to how I could get out of this, err, how should I put it, err, crap. No, wait, cancel that. Crap. With a capital C. ‘You do realise you don’t actually produce anything, don’t you? It is not as if you make computers or grow food, or design something useful, something like weapons of mass destruction, you know, or clever stuff like that. You merely provide a service. And what good is a service? I mean really? During recession? The only service sector to remain afloat is the banking sector, and this is only because they are close to the money and they just help themselves, and when they run out all they have to do is blackmail the government into a top-up. It is quite a clever scheme really. A win-win situation one might say. When you have profit, you divvy it out amongst your mates, and when you have a loss you ask the government to give you it and then divvy it out between your mates.’

‘But wait, ...uh,... (gasping for air)... what... uffff, does this mean (pant)?’ Was pushed out of me me’s chest by the pressing weight (have I told you how much it weighs?)

‘Well like most, you wrongfully assumed you can afford to have somewhere to live, pay for health insurance (which will in reality merely count towards (but will not cover all expenses) an abortion in a back alley), social security (which in reality won’t bring you anything, but on the plus side it does give the government some extra dosh to play with), eat (mainly cheap and unhealthy food, which will probably kill you the day you retire and become a burden for the state), have an occasional drink, and go to the movies every now and then, hoping that a bottle of cheap plonk and a Hollywood flick seen from the back row will lead to a few moments of pleasure or, Recession forbid (see told you), even reproduction.’

‘Well, yes, I was somehow going for all of this. And it didn’t seem too much to ask really. It seems like a bog standard, middle of the road life to me.’ me me managed to squeeze into the accountant me monologue.

‘Well you might think you are entitled to all of this, but let’s see, what have you done to deserve all these wonderful benefits reserved for the chosen few? Since I have known you, you have been earning money as a translator, but you only translate crap things that nobody reads, stuff like hard core scientific books, art books, children books and similar nonsense (1). You see, that is where you went wrong. If you have to work as a translator you should really be translating annual reports for the Bank of Slovenia, stuff for Microsoft, contracts between Mercedes Benz and Chrysler, you know sensible things like that.’

‘Yeah, but where is the pleasure in that. I mean...’ me me broke accountant me’s line of thought.

‘Pleasure? I’ll tell you where the pleasure in that is. You get to know important people. People with money. People with connections.  You become one of them. You buy yourself a nice Jag convertible. You buy your mistress an apartment. Buy people to look after your kids. Oh yes, I forgot, you don’t have any... Well, anyway, where was I? Oh yes, you have also been working as a photographer. And shall I tell you what you did wrong, or do you want to figure it out for yourself? No? You decided to go out and photograph so-called cultural and art events. (2) You will never make any money like that, I tell you. You should be out there taking a snap shot of the new Bentley and then tweaking the photo in Photoshop, making it look all shiny, and spanking new, irresistible.  You know popping a few young good looking people around it, possibly in a cheerful, playful snowball fight. Happy, shiny people. Just like gold...  ... ooops, sorry, I got a bit carried away there. Thinking about shiny things always makes my eyes and mouth water. And to make things worse, you then spend the meagre takings from photography on equipment and what you like to call your own art exhibitions (3). I mean, really. As if you can make money there. Or you could take wedding photographs. You know the lovely bride, the handsome groom, the drunken best man, the horny bridesmaids... That’s a nice little earner. Or that other art stuff that you did. (4) Let’s see, what else have you been up to? Ah, yes, writing. Now that’s a laugh. Poetry. Ha! Nobody reads that no more. What were you thinking? You still live in the middle ages or somethin’? Short stories, that is a bit better. At least somebody reads them, but trust me nobody is willing to pay to read them. Especially not during Recession.  And the play. Or the children’s book. Who is going to publish that when the world is sinking? The only sensible thing you wrote were the economy ramblings you wrote for the Ljubljana Trade Centre, the time you were the editor of their magazine... Now that was a job....

At this point I just cut off the accountant me voice, as he only continued to ramble about the stupidity of me me the DJ, the foolishness of me me as the performer, the time me me wasted as an editor of a student literary magazine, the attempts to write and direct silly short videos and so on. By this time I have had enough. I knew there was something I needed to do. As it was Sunday I decided to go window shopping for a new place to stay, if things get really bad. And tomorrow... Well tomorrow is a new day apparently. And the start of a new week. Tomorrow I will write my CV and try to do something with it. Who knows, I might even get a job?

(1)     This is a thing I have been doing professionally since 1994. I am good at it, but I really need to learn something new from the book. Or I need to enjoy it in some other way. At this stage I will mention just a few books I translated over the years, just so you get the picture as to the kind of things I do:

When I Cry, I don’t Hear Voices, Ljubljana, Društvo za Razvijanje Prostovoljnega in Preventivnega Dela, 1992 (A collection of children refuge stories)

Stopar, Ivan: Kunike’s suite; Ljubljana, Arterika, 1994;

Stanič, Stane: Slovenia; London, Flint River Press, 1994;

Stopar, Ivan: Ljubljanske vedute; Ljubljana, Arterika, 1996;

Glavan, Saša (ed.): World of Art 1999, 2001, Ljubljana, Sorosov center za sodobne umetnosti, Ljubljana, 1999

Šumi, Nace: Signs, Znanstveni Inštitut Filozofske Fakultete, Ljubljana, 2000

Šumi, Nace: The villas of Marko Mušič, Znanstveni inštitut Filozofske fakultete, Ljubljana, 2001

Glavan, Saša (ed.): World of Art 2001, Ljubljana, Sorosov center za sodobne umetnosti, Ljubljana, 2001Nabergoj, Saša (ed.): World of Art, Strategies of Presentation III., Zavod SCCA, Ljubljana, 2004.

Kovačič, Jani: Bulevar Bankrot.

Miličinski, Fran - Ježek: Twinkle Sleepyhead, Sanje, Ljubljana 2004

Dahl, Roald: Danny, Prvak Sveta, Sanje, Ljubljana, 2006

Stele, France in Paternoster, Marjan: Ljubljana the Beloved, Mladinska Knjiga, 2006.

Štular Benjamin: Mali grad, High Medieval castle in Kamnik, Inštitut za arheologijo ZRC-SAZU, Ljubljana, 2009

Josip Jurčič: The famous goat trial, JSKD, 2009

Horvat, Jana & Alma: Ocra, inštitut za arheologijo ZRC-SAZU, Ljubljana, 2010

Košir, fedja: From human to trans-human, SAZU, Ljubljana, 2010

(2)     This is where I relax the most and find the most enjoyment. A few institutions have managed to track me down and pay me to work as a photographer of cultural events or art. These include Galerija Alkatraz, Kino Šiška, Mladina, Cankarjev dom, Napovednik and a few dance festivals.

(3)     True, mea culpa, I have had a few exhibitions. I think they are fun and I like to share. My solo photographic exhibitions so far were:

I. Café 't fiasco, Genk, Belgija. 14.5.2003 – 5.6.2003

Walkabout, ISH, Ljubljana. 4.11.2003 – 12.2.2004.

Walkabout II, Bikofe, Ljubljana. 4.3. 2004 – 1.4. 2004

The ruins of Ljubljana, Galerija Kljub Vsemu, Ljubljana, 11.3.2009 - 25.3.2009

A week with Petra B. (with Irena Kazazic), Galerija Kljub Vsemu, Ljubljana, 25.3.2009 – 24.6.2009

Take a piece of me home with you, Culture bar Conestoga, Ljubljana, 9.7.2009 - 23.7.2009

Don't leave me hanging on the telephone (with Irena Kazazic), Bikofe, Ljubljana, 17.9 – 15.10.2009

I've got something I need to tell you (with Irena Kazazic), Pilon, Ljubljana, 7.12.2009 – 20.1.2010

Šiškaton, Kino Šiška, Ljubljana, 28.6 – 31.7 2011

Ne.Za.Vedno., Knižnjica Kolodvor, 19.9.2011 – 21.11.2011

Since you've been gone, Kresnicka, Ljubljana, 8.12.2011 – 5.1.2012

I also participated (with my photos) at a few group exhibitions

Okno v svet, Univerza v Ljubljani, Deželni dvorec v Ljubljani, 18.2.2008 – 7.3.2008.

              Okno v svet, Galerija Laterna, Črnomelj, 19.4. 2008 – 3.5.2008

Efekt Radia Študent, Exhibition at the 40^th anniversary of RŠ. MGLC, Ljubljana, 24.4.2009 - 15.5.2009

365 dni, Kino Šiška, Ljubljana 17.9. – 1.10. 2010

1000 Rož, Kino Šiška, Ljubljana 15.10. – 28.10.2010

Lost souls' society proudly presents 'Oh no, is it New Year already?', Tukad Munga, Ljubljana, 31.12.2010 –24.1.2011

II, Exhibition to celebrate the 2^nd anniversary of Kino Šiška, Kino Šiška, 16.9.2011 – 15.9.2012

Lomonada, Inkognito, 20.9.2011 -  31.9.2011

Slovenian Art on a date with Sigmund Freud, Sigmund Freud Privat Universität, Vienna, 24.9.2011 – 13.11.2011

(4)     At this point I think that the accountant me had in mind mainly the Mojca Pelcar Šarf project I did with Jaka Železnikar and which was exhibited at the following venues (amongst others)

Avtorska knjiga v nastajanju, 7.12 2004, Galerija P 74, Ljubljana

Avtorska knjiga 19.4. – 7.5. 2005, Galerija P 74, Ljubljana

Prva Linija 23.6. – 2.10. 2005, 26. Graphic bianunal, MGLC, Ljubljana

Isola Virtuale 12.6. – 6.11. 2005, 51. Venitian Biannual, Venice, Italy

5 Minut 11.5. – 13.5. 2006, Galerija P 74, Ljubljana

Literarni algoritmi 28.2. – 31.3. 2007, Bežigrajska galerija Ljubljana,

The Art Happens Here, 15.6. – 17.6. 2007, iCommons Summit, Dubrovnik, Croatia

Vsak je lahko kurator, 16.6. – 30.9. 2007, Moderna Galerija, Ljubljana

Knjiga umetnika 1.9. – 20. 9. 2007, Knjigarna Konzorcij, Ljubljana

Knjiga umetnika 3.9. – 20.9. 2007, Galerija P 74, Ljubljana

Zbirka knjig umetnika Zavoda P.A.R.A.S.I.T.E. 2. 6. 2009 - , Galerija Meduza, Koper.

Razstava Knjiga umetnika v Sloveniji, Galerija Kresija, Ljubljana. 7.9 – 1.10. 2010