is expanding. Slowly. Insecurely. 20 steps forwards and a million back (Luckily I started going in the opposite direction lately, so when I take all the steps back, I actually come closer to where I want to be). At times deeply painful. Scary as shit. Mind-boggling anxiety. Dread that makes your body stiff and your mind wet itself. But somewhere deep underneath there is joy. And a belief that one day I will make it. It is hard work but someone has got to do it.
