You wake up and realise that something is not quite as it should be. You feel a bit off colour, even though it is a nice and sunny day (albeit it is bloody freezing). The cars that one day decided to drive up and down your street all day long produce way too much noise and smog to let you think. So you step out from your flat. And you are happy you can manage it. Because you remember how it used to be. You remember when everywhere outside you flat was charted as Therebedragons territory. And you are happy you have got an flat to step out from. And you wonder how long will you still have it. When will the country eat up whatever money was left in the child’s piggybank and the bank will kick you out of your home? And the country will spend all of your hard earned money on a few people you wouldn’t even know you need if you weren’t told so. And the bank will do the same. It will give all your money to somebody you never knew was there, somebody whose function you cannot understand, someone who seems to have millions but needs more. But, those are thoughts for another day. For now you know that you are safe for the next month or two... And by then, who knows what might happen.
So you step out. And up. Towards the sky. To find some peace. Amongst the birds. Let the blue sky reflect your blue thoughts. You sit down. On the edge. You find that your mind is clearer when on the edge. The closer to the edge, the sharper your mind. It is sharpest when nothing obstructs your gaze. All you can see is air. One long freefalling drop. Just like the first drop on a roller coaster ride. Let's face it - life is a roller coaster ride. You go up, up, up, and then down, and up again and down and up and down. But you never get back as high as you were the first time. It is always slightly lower, and you go slightly slower. Until the ups become nothing more than merely bumps in the ride. And the downs, well, they just seem to hover lifelessly in the pits, waiting to grab you by your ankle and pull you underground. And then you stop, and step off. Leave the planet, and say hello darkness.
Once more, that is a thought for another day. Today you just want to figure out where are you in life and where do you want to be. And you wonder why are the two so far apart. And will you ever get to where you want to be? What would it take to get there? Will you be lucky? One of the few who could do what they wanted? Or will you be one in the sea of bodies that just repeat the motion. Day in, day out. No satisfaction, but surviving and multiplying somewhere along the way.
Again, I digress. Today, all I really wanted to think about is what was behind that cute girl’s smile as she looked me in my eyes the other night.
why French is the language of love, just listen to it.
in most cases is escaping reality and finding themselves in a dream world, a world they can construct in any way they see fit. In a way we all want to do it, it is just that some are more successful than others and some even manage to construct the world of their dreams in the real world. However, they only manage this at the expense of others. At the expense of you, me, the little boy chasing the ball across the road, the little girl playing with Ken in the garden (they just don’t know it yet), all the dead who perished for the mighty dollar and all the zombified souls working in the fluorescent lighted coalmines of today, pretending to be free in this brave new world.
in the great blackness. You know the feeling. When you feel small. And the world seems huge. Way too big for you to take in. And this only makes you feel even smaller. Smaller than the ant you just walked by. Smaller than the microbe you just coughed out. You are too vulnerable to look this shiny day in the eyes. And much to vulnerable to be seen by anybody else. 
